Money isn’t everything, but at least it encourages relatives to stay in touch.
Q: Why is a sheep better than a woman?
A: A sheep doesn't care if you fuck her sister.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Déja.
Déja who?
Knock knock.
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How can you tell if your house was built by lesbian carpenters?
All tongue-in-groove, with no studs.
Dad: "I heard you missed school yesterday."
Little Johnny: "Not a bit."
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Q: What do pregnant teenagers and their unborn babies have in common?
A: Both their moms are going to kill them!
A guy walks into a bar, orders six jägermeister shots.
The bartender asks him if it's a special occation?
The guy answers "yes indeed, my very first blowjob".
The bartender gets excited and says "Congratulations, I'll give you the seventh shot on the house".
The guy answers "Nah, if six jäger shots isn't enough to get rid of the taste, the seventh wont make much of a difference".
Q: Why is Chelsea Clinton growing up a confused child?
A: Because dad can’t keep his pants on and mom wants to wear them.
Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot.
Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.
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Eminem says "I'm not afraid".
Chuck Norris says "I love the way you lie"
Vote: