Best jokes ever

Mary and Jane are talking. Mary declares that she’s finally got pregnant after years of trying. ‘How did you manage it?’ asks Jane. ‘I went to that hypnotherapist on the High Street,’ replies Mary. ‘I got pregnant within two months.’ ‘Oh, my husband and I tried seeing him years ago,’ says Jane. ‘It didn’t work for us.’ ‘Of course it wouldn’t,’ replies Mary. ‘You have to go alone.’
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More jokes about: sex
Johnny asked his mom how to deal with a girl at school who liked him a lot. His mom told him to find out how she really feels. Johnny asked how to do this and his mom told him to beat around the bush. Johnny then said, "what, just like you and dad do??"
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More jokes about: little Johnny
Who are the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 victims. They went through 87 stories in 10 seconds.
Vote: has 65.63 % from 58 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
I went into the bar the other day & the bartender said: "What'ya have?" I said: "Suprise me." He did, He showed me a naked picture of my wife. I said: "Hey, who said you could mess around with my wife?" "Everyone did" he replied..."
Vote: has 65.58 % from 111 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Two friends talk: "Hi, what are you doing?" "Not much, writing a Valentine's Day greeting card." "Why are you writing it with your left hand? Are you left-handed?" "No, I just can't let my right hand to see it. It's a surprise for it."
Vote: has 65.57 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, Valentines day, friendship
Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHY!?" Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fucking with you, it was born dead".
Vote: has 65.57 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, baby, doctor, hospital, death
A judge grew tired of seeing the same town drunk in front of his bench. One day the judge glared down at the man, who was still intoxicated, and thundered "It is the sentence of this court that you be taken from here to a place of execution and there hanged by the neck until DEAD." The drunk promptly fainted. The court bailiff commenced to reviving the man, and looked up at the judge, at which time the judge shrugged and responded "I've always wanted to do that."
Vote: has 65.57 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, drunk, death
If the world population was made into a sweater, where would the black people be put? In the hood!
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More jokes about: racist, black people
Why are there no mexicans on star trek? They don't work in the future either.
Vote: has 65.56 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist
What do spinach and anal sex have in common? If you're forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.
Vote: has 65.56 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, sex, kids