Two russian guys are walking down the street and they find a $100. So one says, "Ok, lets buy bread for $1 and the rest we spend on vodka?." The other says, "I don't get it, why do we need so much bread?."
Yo' Mama is like my cell phone plan: 10 cents a minute anytime, anywhere, no restrictions.
Q: Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? A: Finding half a worm."
The most beautiful blonde woman you've ever seen walks into the drugstore. She walks to the pharmacy and asks if they sell Extra-Large condoms, the cashier says yes and points her down aisle 11. About 30 minutes go by and the pharmacist notices that the blonde is still looking at the condoms. He decides to see if she needs any help. He says, "Did you find the extra large condoms?" She responds, "Yes, now I'm just waiting for someone to buy some."
Two blondes suddenly got into bird hunting and were eager to try it out for themselves. They had read that a birddog is a great and useful accessory in bird hunting, so they decided to go to the pet shop and buy one. They asked for a well-trained birddog, and got one. The two blondes immediately went to the woods to try it out. The dog didn't work. No matter how hard they tried, it just didn't follow their commands. They became really frustrated and one of the blondes said to her companion, “Okay, we'll give him one more try. We'll throw him in the air one more time and if he doesn't fly, we're taking him back to the store!”
2 Scientists walk into a bar, the bartender asks what they'll have. The first one says he'll have H2O. The second one said he'll have H2O too. The second one died.
Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
Q: What would men do if they had breasts? A: They'd stay at home and play with them all day.
Q: What does Barbie use as a tampon? A: A Tic-Tac.
Your mamma is so fat when she steped on the scale it said to be continued.