Q: What is Iraq's national bird ?
A: Duck.
As a blonde crawls out of her wrecked car, the local sheriff asks her what happened.
The blonde began, "It was the strangest thing!
I looked up and saw a tree, so I swerved to the right.
Then I saw another tree, so I swerved to left.
Then there was another tree, and another and another ..."
The sheriff thought for a minute and then said, "Mam ... I don't know how to tell you this, but the only thing even resembling a tree on this road for thirty miles is your air freshener."
Dad says to his son, "Don't mast*rbate to much because you will go blind."
Son say, "I'm over here?"
Q: Why did Hitler kill himself?
A: He saw his gas bill.
What do you call 3 black guys sky diving?
Air pollution.
Vote:
What's the difference between a black and a white fairytale?
White begins, "once upon a time," black begins, "y'all motherfuckers ain't gonna believe dis shit!"
Vote:
Say, "Do I smell popcorn?" right after you fart.
So everybody takes a big whiff.
Vote:
What has a hundred balls and f*cks old women?
Bingo!
Judge: "You are sentenced to 2 years of solitary confinement"
Me: "Thank you."
Vote:
One day Sven walks into the local pub and announces, "Well boys Svens is getting married."
As you can imagine all of Sven's' friends were very happy for Sven's good fortune and they asked, "Who's the lucky girl?"
Sven replied, "Well I am a marrying Madge."
Well, this upset all of Sven's friends because Madge was nothing but a slut, and they all cried.
"Sven you can't marry Madge, she's not a nice girl!"
"Sven replied, "Oh ya, Sven's in love and he's a getting married."
And his friends persisted, "Sven, Madge is a woman of low morals."
Sven just grinned and replied, "Oh ya ya ya, but I love Madge."
Finally, his friends had enough and in unison cried out, "But Sven, Madge has been screwed by every man in town!"
"Oh ya ya ya," said Sven, "But it's not that big of a town."