Best jokes ever

3 old friends meet each other unexpectedly in Paris. Since they haven't seen each other in decades, they decide to celebrate by going out. They decide that they would go to the Eiffel Tower. When they arrived, there was a guard there next to a sign that read "if you can drop your watch from the top of the Eiffel Tower, run all the way down the stairs and catch it on the floor, you will win 10 million dollars. The men decided to try it. The first one went up, dropped his watch, sprinted all the way down and looked up, but his watch wasn't there, so he looked down and there was his watch, shattered into pieces of gears and parts. "Impossible," he said to his friends. The second Man thought that maybe he was too slow, so he went up, dropped his watch, then practically jumped Down the steps, and looked up, but it wasn't there. He looked down, and the remains of his watch were right next to his friends' watch. "Impossible," he said to the third man. But the third man tried anyway. He went up, dropped his watch, then took his time going down, taking 25 minutes to get down the steps. When he finally went down, he looked at the local clock and waited 5 minutes, then he looked up and caught his watch. Everyone was shocked, and as the guard was counting up the money, he asked: "how did you do that?" The man looked at him and replied: "my watch is 30 minutes late."
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has 62.75 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: friendship, money, old people, time, travel
Me: "Will you Remember me in a day?" Her: "Yes." Me: "Will you remember me in a week?" Her: "Yes." Me: "Will you remember me in a month?" Her: "Yes." Me: "Will you remember me in a year?" Her: "Yes." Me: "Ok, I have a joke. Her: "Ok." Me: "Knock, knock." Her: "Who's there?" Me: "You didn't remember me."
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has 62.75 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: communication, knock-knock, memory, relationship
There were three women sitting at a bar, talking about how loose they were. One woman said that her husband could fit his arm in up to his elbow. The next woman said her man could fit his leg in up to his knee. The last woman just slid over the bar stool.
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has 62.75 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: bar, dirty, husband
Q: Why did the gay man take two aspirin with his Viagra? A: So sex wouldn't be such a pain in the arse.
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has 62.75 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: gay, sex, viagra
A mother without any pant was playing with her son. The boy pointing to her mother's pussy asked: "Mammy, what is that dark wooly between your feet? Mother: "My sweet that is a brush." Son: "Where is it's bundle?" Mother: "In your daddy's pant."
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has 62.74 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, kids, sex
Terrorists take a group of lawyers hostage. They ask for a ransom of $20 million and threaten to release one lawyer at a time if not given what they ask for.
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has 62.74 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, life, money, terrorist, time
What did the two tampons say to eachother? Nothing , because they were both stuck up bitches.
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has 62.74 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A boy asks his mother for breakfast. She says, "Not until you feed the animals." The boy goes outside and says to the chicken, "I don't feel like feeding you today." So he kicks the chicken. He does the same with the cow and the pig. The boy goes back into the house and tells his mother that he's hungry. His mother says, "I saw you kick the chicken, so you're not getting any eggs, I saw you kick the cow, so you're not getting any milk, and I saw kick the pig, so you're not getting any bacon." Just then the boy's father walks down the steps, trips and kicks the cat. The boy says, "Mom, should I tell him?"
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has 62.74 % from 108 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, food
Chuck Norris is the meaning of life. Too bad he's also the meaning of death.
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has 62.74 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life
Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry? A: Never lick the spoon!
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has 62.69 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, life
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