Chuck Norris hit you tomorrow, is going to hit you yesterday, and you're now dead.
The real reason that Oprah is ending her show on television is that Chuck phoned and said "That's enough!"
Chuck Norris can over rev a revolver.
Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you. Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.
How are men like noodles? They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.
It takes courage to say YES at the altar. It takes even more courage to say NO to Chuck Norris.
Q: What is height of De-hydration? A: A cow giving milk powder.
The results of a recent Harris Poll on "what's scarier" forced the Discovery channel to cancel Shark week in lieu of Chuck Norris week.
What do you call a show full of lions? The mane event.
Did you hear about the wild party at the haunted house? The whole vibe was anything ghost.