A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest, and writers cramp.
When Chuck Norris has your back you aren't likely to get it back again.
How do you get four old ladies to shout "F*ck"? Get a fifth old lady to shout "Bingo!"
Doctor (to an absent-minded patient): "What is wrong with you?" Patient: "I am losing my memory. Please prescribe some medicine." Doctor (Handing him the prescription after a while): "Here, Take this." Patient: "Why are you giving me this prescription? I am perfectly all right."
Chuck Norris can suck a black hole.
How do you know a man is really a bad dancer? When he can still step on Dolly Parton's toes.
Doctor (to a patient): "You must take four tea-spoonfuls of this medicine before every meal." Patient: "Doctor, we’ve only 3 spoons at home."
If Chuck Norris appears in your dream, don't panic, he is only looking for Freddy Krueger.
Chuck Norris can run a full marathon in just 3 miles.
"Walker Texas Ranger: The Movie 3-D" was considered by Warner Brothers; however the technology to create the visual effects will never be possible.