T. S. Eliot measured out his life with coffee spoons. Chuck Norris uses a backhoe.
Every man thinks he's a dream of every woman. Sorry guys, but the dream of every woman is eating all the time and not to get fat.
Chuck Norris can stick his hand inside a rabbit's mouth and pull out a HAT!
Did you hear about the Irishman who couldn't tell the difference between his two horses? His friend suggested measuring them, that didn't help though, the Irishman discovered that the brown horse was only an inch taller than the white one!
When everyone else can't, Chuck Norris CAN.
Chuck Norris can make same magnet polarities stick together.
Lightening is too slow to strike Chuck Norris.
Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much? A: They're cheaper than day rates.
Everytime a star explodes, it's because one of Chuck Norris's victims just landed there after being round-house kicked.
When Chuck Norris eats dinner at a restaurant, the wait staff tips him.