Chuck Norris can make same magnet polarities stick together.
Lightening is too slow to strike Chuck Norris.
Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much? A: They're cheaper than day rates.
Everytime a star explodes, it's because one of Chuck Norris's victims just landed there after being round-house kicked.
When Chuck Norris eats dinner at a restaurant, the wait staff tips him.
Most kids pee their name into snow... Chuck Norris pisses his in concreate...
I got a tattoo of Chuck Norris on my own leg... now it won't stop roundhouse kicking me in the face.
Why is it that if you give a child an encyclopedia, lawyer is always the third thing they look up? Because the first thing a child looks up is dog. The second is snake. And under snake, the encyclopedia says See Lawyer.
Chuck Norris can strum your pain with his fingers, tell your whole life with his words – but mainly just kill you softly with his song.
Cow: "Why don't you shoo those flies?" Bull: "I ll let them go barefoot!"