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T. S. Eliot measured out his life with coffee spoons. Chuck Norris uses a backhoe.
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Every man thinks he's a dream of every woman. Sorry guys, but the dream of every woman is eating all the time and not to get fat.
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Chuck Norris can stick his hand inside a rabbit's mouth and pull out a HAT!
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When everyone else can't, Chuck Norris CAN.
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Lightening is too slow to strike Chuck Norris.
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Yo' Mama is like marijuana everyone does her, but no one admits it.
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Everytime a star explodes, it's because one of Chuck Norris's victims just landed there after being round-house kicked.
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When Chuck Norris eats dinner at a restaurant, the wait staff tips him.
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Most kids pee their name into snow... Chuck Norris pisses his in concreate...
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I got a tattoo of Chuck Norris on my own leg... now it won't stop roundhouse kicking me in the face.
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