Most kids pee their name into snow... Chuck Norris pisses his in concreate...
I got a tattoo of Chuck Norris on my own leg... now it won't stop roundhouse kicking me in the face.
Why is it that if you give a child an encyclopedia, lawyer is always the third thing they look up? Because the first thing a child looks up is dog. The second is snake. And under snake, the encyclopedia says See Lawyer.
Chuck Norris can strum your pain with his fingers, tell your whole life with his words – but mainly just kill you softly with his song.
Cow: "Why don't you shoo those flies?" Bull: "I ll let them go barefoot!"
This woman walks into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a christmas tree on her right inner thigh and a cocktail drink on her left inner thigh. The tatoo artist say thats an unusual request. "Why do you want two tattoos there?" So she says "Because my husband needs to eat between christmas and new years."
"Knock Knock?" "Who's there?" "Europe." "Europe who?" "No you're a poo."
Chuck Norris is the reason why George Michael is never gonna dance again.
Chuck Norris doesn't blow out brithday candles, they surrender their flames willingly.
Chuck Norris can have his cake and eat yours too.