Best jokes ever

Yesterday, scientists in the United States revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, they fed one hundred men twelve pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn’t drive.
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has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, beer, science
I went to the psychiatrist, and he says "You're crazy." I tell him I want a second opinion. He says, "Okay, you're ugly too!"
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has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: life
A drunken man gets on the bus late one night, staggers up the aisle, and sits next to an elderly woman. She looks the man up and down and says, "I've got news for you. You're going straight to hell!" The man jumps up out of his seat and shouts, "Man, I'm on the wrong bus!"
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has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, old people, women
There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You’re beautiful!” and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said “You’re cute!” Well, the wife was disappointed because instead of “beautiful” it was “cute.” She said “What happened to ‘beautiful’?” His reply was “The drugs are wearing off!”
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has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: beauty, drug, lawyer, wife
“How can I ever thank you?” gushed a woman to Clarence Darrow, after he had solved her legal troubles. “My dear woman,” Darrow replied, “ever since the Phoenicians invented money there has been only one answer to that question.”
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has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money
It was at an amusement park on a brutally hot day when I saw a father with 2 kids. "Who’s enjoying the most?" I asked cheerfully. "I am" said one. "I am" said the second. "No," the father said "their mother is!"
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has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: kids
Jokes about Chuck Norris are not funny, but all are afraid not to laugh.
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has 62.12 % from 144 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
What did the Zen Buddist say to the hotdog vendor? Make me one with everything.
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has 62.10 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: life
blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it." The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next."
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has 62.10 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: blonde, ginger
Q: Whats the difference between Niagara and Viagra? A: Niagara Falls.
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has 62.10 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: dirty, viagra
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