Best jokes ever

A guy buys his first motorcycle. The dealer tells him to keep a jar of Vaseline handy to rub on the chrome before it rains to prevent rusting. A few months later, the young man's girlfriend invites him to dinner at her parents' house. Before they go in, she explains their family tradition that whomever speaks first after dinner must do the dishes. After dinner, everyone sits in silence waiting for the first person to break. After 15 minutes, the young man decides to speed things up. He leans over and kisses his woman in front of her family. No one says a word. Emboldened, he throws her on the table and has sex with her. Silence. Desperate, he grabs her mother and has sex with her on the table. Suddenly, they hear thunder rumble in the distance. The guy thinks of his bike and, instinctively, pulls the jar of Vaseline out of his pocket. "OK, OK," says the father, "I'll do the dishes!"
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has 61.96 % from 226 votes. More jokes about: dad, family, marriage, sex, weather
When Jacques Cousteau reached the bottom of the sea he found Chuck Norris snorkeling.
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has 61.96 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
How many men does it take to screw a light bulb? A. One - men will screw anything. B. One - men will screw up anything. C. Five - one to actually do the screwing, four to listen to him brag about it.
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has 61.96 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: light bulb, men
A man and woman were on their first date. The woman was trying to make conversation and said, "So I hear you hunt deer." The man looked away and turned red. "What's wrong?" asked the woman. "I'm not used to someone calling me dear on the first date," the man said.
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has 61.96 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: communication, dating, hunting, men, women
Q: What's the best part about gardening? A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
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has 61.96 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: dirty, work
Farting in a lift is wrong on so many levels!
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has 61.96 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: fart
Chuck Norris doesn't beat around the bush, he beats up the bush.
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has 61.95 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris plays hide and seek, even google can't find him.
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has 61.95 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game, internet
Yo momma so fat, she bounced over Wal-Mart, rolled over KMart, and landed on target.
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has 61.95 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
Even Google can't find Chuck Norris.
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has 61.94 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
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