You mama is so fat, when she goes to the movies she sits next to everyone!
When Chuck Norris logged in to WoW, everyone logged out.
Chuck Norris walked into a bar. "OUCH!" said the bar.
Chuck Norris destroyed the Lord of Rings. Twice.
Q: What's in the wardrobe? A: Narnia business.
Chuck Norris can watch music.
A patient that was waiting for a heart transplant has the chance to choose tree alternatives: 1. One heart is from a young athlete that died from a car accident. 2. Second is the heart of a business man that never smoked or drunk that died from an airplane accident. 3. The last one is a lawyers heart that died after 30 years of experience. I'll take the lawyers heart. After the transplant, the doctor asks the patient: "Why did you choose the lawyers heart?" "Simple! I chose the heart that was less used..."
The names 'Adam and Eve' were simply coverups. They were really Chuck and Norris.
What do you call a neurotic octopus? A crazy, mixed-up squid.
Chuck Norris decided 50 years of Micheal Jackson was enough