Chuck Norris has a website, is called the internet.
Chuck Norris leaves potholes when he jogs.
Chuck Norris makes Power Point look weak.
Did you hear about the cannibal family who were caught spying by the witch-doctor? They were given a right roasting.
Adamantium may be hard but Chuck Norris is harder.
Chuck Norris can build a Water Dam... In the Sahara Desert.
What do you call someone who sticks his right hand in shark's mouths? Lefty.
Usain Bolt only began running when he heard, Chuck Norris was in Jamaica shooting a commercial for Red Bull.
Yo Momma so fat, she's gotta wake up in sections.
Two lawyers had been life long friends: they were partners and shared everything, including their hot-blooded secretary. One day the secretary announced she was pregnant. They told her not to worry and assured her that they would pay all medical costs and would act as co-fathers when the child was born and provide all expenses thereafter. The day of delivery arrived. Both the lawyers were at the hospital pacing the floor in the waiting room. Finally one of them said, “I can’t take this, I’m going down to sit in my car and wait there. Please come down and tell me as soon as the child is born!” The partner agreed to do that. About an hour later the partner approached the car with a very grave look on his face. “What happened?” asked the waiting car occupant. The other partner announced, “They were twins and mine died!”