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Chuck Norris has a vacation home on the sun.
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Chuck Norris once climbed the empire state building and roundhouse kicked the human spider off the top.
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Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
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A man takes his hamster to the vet, and after a short look at the creature the vet pronounces it dead. Not happy with the vet's diagnosis the man asks for a second opinion. The vet gives a whistle and in strolls a Labrador dog. The dog nudges the hamster around with its nose and sniffs it a couple of times before shaking his head. "There" says the vet," Your hamster is dead". Still not happy the man asks for a third opinion. The vet opens the back door and in bounds a cat. The cat jumps onto the table and looks the hamster up and down for a few minutes before looking up and shaking it's head. "It's definitely dead sir", says the vet. Convinced, the man enquires how much he owes. "That will be L1000, please". "A L1000 just to tell me my hamster is dead" fumes the man. "Well", says the vet, "There's my diagnosis, the lab report and the cat scan".
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Chuck Norris does not have to "Fight for his right to Party". Parties have to fight for their right to Chuck Norris.
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Why is polar bear cheap to have as a pet? It lives on ice.
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There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
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Chuck Norris can hear his phone ring on silent.
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Don't type "Chuck Norris" on Monster Milktruck, your milk will turn into beer.
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Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.
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