Yo mama is so old, that when she farts all that comes out is dust.
Why did the boy mouse like the girl mouse? They just seemed to click.
Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb? A: Three. One to hire a Mexican guy and two to deport him when he's done.
Q: Why did the blonde take more than one pregnancy test? A: Because she slept with more than one guy.
Yo Momma is so stupid when she asked me what kind of jeans am i wearing i said Guess and she said Levis.
Why do women make better soldiers? Because they can bleed for a week and not die.
Yo mamma is on a weight diet, can't wait to eat.
A very rich lawyer is approached by the United Way. The man from the United Way is concerned that the lawyer made over $1,000,000.00 last year but didn't donate even a cent to a charity. "First of all", says the lawyer, "my mother is sick and dying in the hospital, and it's not covered by healthcare. Second, I had five kids through three divorced marriages. Third, my sister's husband suddenly died and she has no one to support her four children..." "I'm terribly sorry", says the United Way man, "I feel bad about asking for money." The Lawyer funny responds, "Yeah, well if I'm not giving them any money, why should I give you any?"
A salesmen rang a house doorbell and it was answered by a kid wearing a top hat, a purple cape, smoking a cigar and drinking a glass of white wine. The salesmen asked: "Are your parents home?" The kid replied: "What does it look like?"
The three words most hated by men during sex: ‘Are you done?’ The three words most hated by women during sex, ‘Honey, I’m home!’