Chuck Norris can tap dance though a mine field... wearing clown shoes.
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Take a squirt gun into the rest room stall next to someone and shoot little drops over the wall every couple of seconds while pretending to pee.
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Q: What do you call a dictionary on drugs?
A: HIGH-Definition.
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Q: What did the letter O said to the letter Q?
A: Dude, your dick is hanging out.
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NOTE: This joke is only for those who recently had a brain transplant.
DO NOT read ahead unless you don't mind being offended.
You're still reading this, aren't you, asshole?
Yo' Mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.
Q: What's the difference between Yo' Mama and a dartboard?
A: Yo' Mama's had more pricks.
Yo mama so old, she walked into a museum and found her ex.
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Chuck Norris' cowboy boots are made of real cowboys.
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Q: Why don't women wear watches?
A: There's a clock on the stove!