Best jokes ever

There was three boys called Zip, Dick and Piss They were in class and their teacher went out to make a phone call Right then Zip jumped on the table Dick jumped in the teachers chair And Piss was punchin everyone in sight 3 minutes later the teacher back in and said Zip down Dick out and Piss in the corner.
Vote: has 63.45 % from 98 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan. He asks, "What was that for?" She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with Betty Sue written on it." He says, "Jeez, honey, remember last week when I went to the track? Betty Sue was the name of the horse I went there to bet on." She shrugs and walks away. Three days later he is reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan. He asks, "What was that for?" She answers, "Your horse called."
Vote: has 63.44 % from 600 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, wife, animal
Why are niggers afraid of chainsaws? Because when you turn on a chainsaw it says "Run nigga nigga nigga Run nigga nigga nigga"
Vote: has 63.42 % from 70 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist, black people
A couple have been dating for a few weeks, but the guy has been afraid of making advances because he thinks his penis is on the small side. Finally, he gets up his courage and takes her down lovers’ lane. While they’re kissing, he opens his trouser zip and guides her hand onto his organ. ‘No thanks,’ says the girl. ‘I don’t smoke.’
Vote: has 63.41 % from 104 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5.00 am for an early morning business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5.00 am." The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9.00am, and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed ... it said... "It is 5.00am; wake up."
Vote: has 63.39 % from 317 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, wife, time
Two husbands were having a conversation, First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
Vote: has 63.38 % from 447 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, husband, wife
Wife: "What are you doing?" Husband : Nothing. Wife : "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour." Husband : "I was looking for the expiration date."
Vote: has 63.38 % from 447 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, wife, husband, time
A man goes to see a wizard and says "can you lift a curse that was put on me years ago ?" "Maybe," says the wizard, "if you can remember the exact words of the curse ?" The man replies without hesitation "I pronounce you man and wife ..."
Vote: has 63.37 % from 444 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, wife
Don't break anybody's heart - they have only one. Break their bones - they have 206.
Vote: has 63.35 % from 73 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
Dear Husband, I have been feeling really dirty lately. Please do me. Love, Dishes
Vote: has 63.35 % from 73 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, husband, work