Best jokes ever

A salesmen rang a house doorbell and it was answered by a kid wearing a top hat, a purple cape, smoking a cigar and drinking a glass of white wine. The salesmen asked: "Are your parents home?" The kid replied: "What does it look like?"
Vote: has 63.66 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, kids, alcohol
Q: What do you call a guy with his hand up a Camel's arse? A: An Arab mechanic.
Vote: has 63.65 % from 117 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist, animal, mechanic
"What happened to your girlfriend, that really cute math student?" "She no longer is my girlfriend. I caught her cheating on me." "I don't believe that she cheated on you!" "Well, a couple of nights ago I called her on the phone, and she told me that she was in bed wrestling with three unknowns..."
Vote: has 63.63 % from 83 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: math, student, relationship, phone
What do you call a bunch of mexicans running down the hill? A mudslide.
Vote: has 63.61 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist, mexican
A man goes into a library and asks where he can find books on suicide. ‘First row on the left,’ replied the librarian. The man replies, ‘But I’ve already looked in that section. It’s empty.’ ‘I’m not surprised,’ says the librarian. ‘They don’t often bring them back.'
Vote: has 63.57 % from 64 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
An old couple decide to get married after years of courting. They sit down to discuss the marriage arrangements and the prospective bridegroom brings up the subject of sex. ‘Oh dear,’ says his aging fiancée. ‘As far as sex goes I’d have to say, infrequently.’ ‘Pardon?’ replies the bridegroom. ‘Was that one word or two?’
Vote: has 63.57 % from 64 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
The three words most hated by men during sex: ‘Are you done?’ The three words most hated by women during sex, ‘Honey, I’m home!’
Vote: has 63.57 % from 141 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
One day at the Ricki Lake Show, the topic was ghosts. Before the show, she asks the audience: "Who here has ever sensed the presence of a ghost?" and 5 people raise their hand. Then she asks "Who here has ever seen a ghost?" and 3 people raise their hand. Then she asks "Okay, now who here has ever had sex with a ghost?" and 1 person, an old man raises his hand. So she goes up to this old man and says "what was it like?" and he said "Oh…it was great! Never had any like it before!" and she asked "Really? So the ghost was good?" and the old man said "Ghost? I thought you said goat!"
Vote: has 63.56 % from 174 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, animal
A man walks into his house with a duck under his arm. He walks up to his wife with it and says, "This is the pig I've been f*cking'." His wife says, "That's a duck." He quickly replies, "I wasn't talking to you."
Vote: has 63.55 % from 156 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, wife, animal
Men are born between the legs of women and spend all their life trying to get back between them. Why? Theres no place like home ...
Vote: has 63.51 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, women, life