"Life is like a box of chocolates."
Not all the black ones can be trusted.
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Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate?
A: Miracle Whip.
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How are black people and wolves similar?
They both fight in packs.
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Yo mama so slow that when she tried to cross the road she got a parking ticket.
Wife:"I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"
Husband:"You have perfect eyesight."
Yo momma’s so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said ‘Sorry, no professionals.’
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.
She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house.
A little later she came out and again went to the mail box, opened it and slammed it shut again.
Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" she replied, "There certainly is!
My stupid computer keeps saying, 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL.'"
Yo' Mama is so poor, when she picks a booger, she yells, "Clap your hands and stomp your feet, praise the Lord, we got meat!"
Chuck Norris can stand at the bottom of a bottomless pit.
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Q: Why do Republican tax cuts always expire in ten years or less?
A: They want to make them thirty but keep running out of fingers.
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