Q: Why do some women look at blank paper?
A: They like to read their rights.
Why did the cow jump over the moon?
To get to the Milky Way!
An elderly gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a prescription of Viagra.
The doctor said, “That’s no problem. How many do you want?”
The man answered, “Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces.”
The doctor said, “That won’t do you any good.”
The elderly gentleman said, “That’s all right. I don’t need them for sex anymore as I am over 90 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don’t pee on my shoes.”
Vote:
Q: How many Californians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 10, 1 to change the bulb and 9 to share the experience.
Vote:
Yo mama is so fat, that she broke stairway to heaven.
Q: What did the cow say to the other cow?
A: Moo.
Vote:
A tourist asks a man in uniform, "Are you a policeman?"
"No, I am an undercover detective."
"So why are you in uniform?"
"Today is my day off."
What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the local football team?
A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.
You should try the new Starbucks terrorist latte... it has a white fluffy head with 2 shots in it.