Customer: "Waiter, there’s a dead beetle in my soup." Waiter: "Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers."
Yo' mama so stupid, she thought the Blizzard of '96 was a new item at Dairy Queen!
What do you get when you mix a nigger and an octopus? I don't know, but it picks the hell out of cotton
Yo' Mama is so fat, instead lint in her belly button, she's gathered full sweaters.
Yo' Mama's head is so big, she dreams in IMAX.
The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students. Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, "George, why has your school work been so poor lately?" "I’m in love," the boy replied. Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, "With whom?" "With you," he said. "But George," she said gently, "don’t you see how silly that is? It’s true that I would like a husband of my own someday. But I don’t want a child." "Oh, don’t worry," the boy said reassuringly, "I’ll use a rubber."
How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented? They were very impressed.
Q: Two blondes are standing on top of the Empire State Building. How can you tell which one is the true blonde and which one is the bleached blonde? A: The bleached blonde isn't throwing bread crumbs at the helicopters!
Sperm 1: How much longer tell we get to the egg? Sperm 2: We've still got a long way to go. We're only half way down the esophagus.
Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.