What do you do when two snails have a fight?
Leave them to slug it out.
What's an octopuses favourite latin saying?
Squid pro quo.
If they made a movie starring the Loch Ness monster and the great white shark from Jaws, what would the movie be called?
Loch Jaws.
Will I ever be able to race my horse again the owner asked the vet.
The vet replied, "You certainly will, and you ll probably beat her too!"
Girl: We have a mayor. Do you?
Horse: Sure!
Girl: What do you call it?
Horse: Same as you do. Mare!
Once someone forgot to stand up when Chuck Norris entered the room.
Chuck roundhouse kicked him into the man behind him creating a nuclear explosion.
Vote:
Yo' Mama is so dirty, they won't even use her bath water for waterboarding.
Chuck Norris is the 51st state.
Vote:
Q: What are the hottest days during summer?
A: Sun-days
The longer I stay at home, the more homeless I look.