What´s the difference between a goodyear and a fucking good year? 365 condoms.
Why do mexicans walk around the school like they own the place?
Cause there dad built it and there mom cleans it at night.
Johnny was playing outside when he really had to go to the bathroom.
He runs in and his grandma was about to take a shower.
He looks at her crotch and says, "Whats that?" She says: "Well, it's a beaver, Johnny."
The next day the same thing happens, only his mom is taking the shower.
He says: "Mom I know what that is. It's a beaver, but I think grandma's is dead because it's tongue is hanging out."
Vote:
Q: How do you make seven an even number?
A: Take the s out!
Birdie, birdie in the sky
Dropped some white stuff in my eye,
I'm a big girl I won't cry,
I'm just glad that cows don't fly.
Vote:
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Vote:
In year 1272 Arabics invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine.
In year 1873 the British somewhat reinvented the condom by taking it out of the goat first.
Q: What did the little black kid get for Christmas?
A: My bike.
Vote:
Let me insert my plug into your socket and we can generate some electricity.
A bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex.
Can you explain it to me first?"
"Okay, sweetheart.
Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'.
So what we do is put the prisoner in the prison."
And they made love for the first time and the husband was smiling with satisfaction.
Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."
Turning on his side, he smiles and says, "Then we will have to re-imprison him."
After the second time, the bride says, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"
The husband rises to the occasion and they made love again.
The bride again says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again," to which the husband yelled, "Hey, it's not a life sentence!!!"