Yo' Mama is like a postage stamp: you lick, you stick, you send her away.
Two hunters shot a deer, and were dragging him to the car by the hind leg, which was difficult because the other legs kept snagging in the brush.
"Chet, I've got an idea, I think we are doing this wrong. Let's try dragging him by the horns, like we were advised by the ammo-store salesman."
"OK," says Ivan.
After a while, Ivan says, "I think this is a lot better because his legs fold up and don't get caught in the brush, but we seem to be getting farther from the car."
What do you call the reindeer with one eye higher than the other?
Isaiah.
What do you get if you cross a bottle of water with an electric eel?
A bit of a shock really.
Do you know why men have holes in the end of their penises?
So oxygen can get into their brains.
Do you know why bankers are good lovers?
They know first hand the penalty for early withdrawal.
Yo' Mama is so poor, she considers the give-a-penny/take-a-penny cups part of her own "Save Yo' Mama" foundation.
Yo' Mama is so fat, the donut shop accused her of stealing their jelly rolls.
Why wouldn't anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully!
What does a cow like to do by a campfire?
Roast Moosmallows.