Two cows are standing in a field.
One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?"
The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"
Chuck Norris's sign language is heard around the world.
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Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.
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Yo mama so fat, her kids come out of her all at once.
Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.
Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system.
You are currently in 352nd place and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
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Why don't lobsters share?
They re shellfish.
Chuck Norris invented the question mark... so he could say the sentence "Do you want to die slowly of fast?"
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Why did the cannibal live on his own?
He was fed up with other people.
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Why did the Scottish cannibal live on a sugar plantation?
He said, "So that I can feed my lads with m'lasses."
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