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For his surprise 50th birthday party, Chuck Norris turned up early. No one surprises Chuck Norris.
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After Chuck Norris created Jazz he decided to do a bit of scat, today we refer to his song as the alphabet.
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Why couldn't the cow leave the farm? She was pasteurized.
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If Chuck Norris were a toy, you wouldn't play with him, he'll play with you.
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A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone. One day he heard a knock at the door and no one was there but then he looked down and there sat a snail and it said "it is quite cold out here can I come in?" The man shouted "NO why don't you all understand I want to be alone!" and he kicked the snail down the mountain. One year later there was a knock at the door and no one was there and then he looked down and there again sat a snail and it said, "What did you do that for?"
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Chuck Norris does not understand any phrase that begins with "if at first you don't succeed."
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Suicide committed Chuck Norris.
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What is the best type of ship? FRIENDSHIP!
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After being shot by a criminal, Chuck Norris said... "that tickles".
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According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
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