How are skunks able to avoid danger? By using their instinks and common scents.
How do jockeys determine which racehorses are the favourites? They take a gallop poll!
There were these two bums and they were hungry when they came across road kill. The first bum went down to eat it when he looked up at his friend and said, "Oh I'm sorry, would you like some?" He replied, "No I think I'll wait." So they continue down the road and the first bum said, "Look - some more road kill, I'm still hungry. How about you?" His friend replied, "No, not yet, I think I'll wait." The first bum ate the road kill. Shortly after, his eyes rolled back and he puked the whole thing back up on the street. Seconds later, his friend dove in and ate every last slickery drop of the puke. The first bum said, "I thought you weren't hungry?" His friend replied, "I was always hungry, I just wanted a warm meal."
How do you make a milkshake? Give a cow a pogo stick.
Chuck Norris can break air.
Q:Why don't hockey players drink tea? A:Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
Chuck Norris never suffers from a heart attack. His heart is too smart to not attack him.
Chuck Norris can breath out with his nose and breath in with his mouth at the same time.
Chuck Norris is the only person that can make you feel a punch to your face in your groin.
When Chuck Norris falls out of a boat , he dosn't hit water... That's because Chuck Norris would never fall out of a boat it the first place.