Q: What is a black cat's favorite color? A: Purrrrrr-ple!
"Did you hear about the farmer who lost control of his tractor in the cow pasture?" "No." "Did he hurt the cows?" "No, he just grazed them."
What did one skunk say to another? And so do you.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard by choice, even the jaws of life can't cut it.
Chuck Norris once walked into my house and I was fined for trespassing.
If you can't say something nice, say it in French.
Someone tried to stab Chuck Norris in the stomach, and the knife bent on his rock-hard abs.
What's a rabbits favorite movie? Rabbits of the Lost Ark.
John and Bob were inseparable childhood friends. One night, they both died in a terrible car accident. When John woke up in heaven, he began to search for Bob but could not find him anywhere. Very distraught, he ran to St. Peter and said, "St. Peter, I know Bob was killed in that accident with me, but I can’t find him!" St. Peter said, "My son, I am sorry to tell you Bob didn’t make it to Heaven." This upset John so much that St. Peter agreed to let him see Bob one more time. St. Peter parted the clouds and John saw Bob sitting in hell with a keg on one side and a beautiful buxom blonde on the other. John looked at St. Peter skeptically and said, "Are you sure I’m in the right place?" "My son," St. Peter said, "looks can be deceiving. You see that keg of beer? It has a hole in it. You see that woman? She doesn’t!"
Chuck Norris had a knife thrown at him... the knife didn't impale him, he impaled the knife.