Stevie Wonder was the last person to stare Chuck Norris directly in the eyes...
"With great power comes a great beard!" - Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris tries to kill himself, he always dodges the killing blow 'cause he's that awesome.
Chuck Norris jumped the grand canyon...longways
Sherlock Holmes dies and goes to Heaven. There is a brouhaha. Sherlock Holmes asks St. Peter what seems to be the problem. Apparently, Adam has gone 'walkabout' among all the souls. It will take ages to find him. Holmes tracks down Adam, very quickly. The Lord asks Holmes how he recognized Adam among the millions of souls, without ever having met him. "Elementary, my dear God, he has no navel."
Chuck Norris is cooler than the other side of the pillow.
No chicken dies a virgin. They get laid at birth *slaps knee*.
Chuck Norris once won a staredown over a walkie talkie.
Chuck was once on the Olympics and he won all the medals but he was disqualifyed for roundhouse kicking the judges because they misspelled his name.
What happens when the cows refuse to be milked? Udder chaos.