What does a cow ride when his car is broken? A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
Chuck Norris could actually win on Takeshi's Castle.
No man can perfectly predict the weather, not even Chuck Norris. But the weather DOES try to predict what kind of day Chuck would like to have...
A couple of senior couples were strolling along, wives in front, husbands in back chatting. Bernie turns to Marv and says, "Ya know, we went to a new restaurant last night and had the best meal ever. Great prices, too." Marv smiles and says, "Well, we like to eat out too. So what was the name of this fine new eatery?" Bernie says, "You’re going to have to help me out here a little. What’s the name of that pretty flower, smells sweet, often red, grows on a thorny bush?" Marv grins again, "Well now, Bernie, sounds like a rose to me…" "Yes, yes, that’s it!" cries Bernie, then he calls ahead to his wife: "Rose! Rose, honey, what was the name of that little restaurant we ate at last night?"
Chuck Norris once played with Legos. The Ancient Egyptians still thank him for it.
Q: What do you call a trial balance that doesn't balance? A: A late night.
A third old woman, full of happiness, asks her granddaughter; "My sweety, remind me please.. What’s the name of that German guy that blew my mind off...?" "Alzheimer, granny!"
Friendly reminder that Adele and Taylor Swift are the same age, yet one is pregnant and another stuck in middle school.
Chuck Norris updates his DNA every 5 minutes.
Chuck Norris's favourite drink is diamond juice, which he squeezes out of raw diamonds with his bare hands.