Q: What do you call a terrorist attack in the Middle East? A: A Selfie!
When Chuck Norris talks, E.F. Hutton listens.
I only wanted to have a child, not marry one.
Chuck Norris beat the light speed by 2 hours and 23 minutes.
What has four legs and goes, "Oom! Oom!"? A cow walking backwards.
Jedis are now taught to use the "Chuck".
One afternoon I was walking on a trail with my baby daughter, chatting to her about the scenery. When a man and his dog approached, I leaned down to the carriage and said, “See the doggy?” Suddenly I felt foolish talking to my baby as if she understood me. However, just as the man passed, he reached down, patted his dog, and said, “See the baby?”
Stevie Wonder was the last person to stare Chuck Norris directly in the eyes...
"With great power comes a great beard!" - Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris tries to kill himself, he always dodges the killing blow 'cause he's that awesome.