Total Recall was based off of an average day in the life of Chuck Norris.
One day a guy and a girl were making out in her parents' bedroom, and it was getting pretty steamy. All of a sudden, the guy takes out his shlong and places it in her hand. She screams and runs downstairs, through the kitchen, through the living room, the bathroom, the dining room, back upstairs, through her bedroom, her bathroom, her sister's bedroom, down the hall and back into her parents' bedroom. "Listen, pal! I have two words for you -- DROP DEAD!" "I have two words for you -- LET GO!"
Chuck Norris doesn't teach his kicks. They speak for themselves.
It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
Q: How did the blonde die at the baseball game? A: She drowned during the wave.
Chuck Norris can blow smoke rings, but also smoke squares. Actually he can also blow your face.
Chuck Norris can eat peanut butter with a straw.
Did you hear about the cannibal family who were caught spying by the witch-doctor? They were given a right roasting.
Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure began when Chuck Norris arrived from the future and roundhouse kicked that phone booth into the past.
Chuck Norris won the World Horseshoe Pitching Contest while they were still attached to a Clydesdale.