Who robs banks and squirts ink? Billy the Squid.
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. He only brought enough money for one beer though. As hes drinking his beer, which was quite expensive, he realizes how bad he has to go to the bathroom. Not wanting anyone to drink his expensive beer, he takes out a 3x5 note card and writes on it, "I SPIT IN THIS BEER", and walks to the bathroom. When he comes back about 15 minutes later, theres another 3x5 note card next to his beer saying, "I SPIT IN IT TOO".
"Waiter, what is this hare doing in my salad?" "I believe he's eating your lettuce."
In the game "Clue", the murder is always committed by Chuck Norris, with a roundhouse kick, in any room he danged well pleases.
Chuck Norris traveled around the world in 60 milliseconds.
Chuck Norris flosses with dynamite wick.
Chuck Norris killed Heath Ledger... nobody ruins the image of cowboys and lives.
Just announced that they are changing all the days of the week to Chuckdays. Happy Chuckday everyone!
I before E except after Chuck.
Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it for ever. Buy a cat a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes.