Best jokes ever

Why didn't the husband change the baby for a week? Because the text on the nappies package said "18-40 lbs".
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Justin Bieber has Chuck Norris fever!
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Total Recall was based off of an average day in the life of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't teach his kicks. They speak for themselves.
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It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
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Q: How did the blonde die at the baseball game? A: She drowned during the wave.
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Chuck Norris can blow smoke rings, but also smoke squares. Actually he can also blow your face.
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Chuck Norris can eat peanut butter with a straw.
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Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure began when Chuck Norris arrived from the future and roundhouse kicked that phone booth into the past.
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Chuck Norris won the World Horseshoe Pitching Contest while they were still attached to a Clydesdale.
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