Why didn't the husband change the baby for a week? Because the text on the nappies package said "18-40 lbs".
Justin Bieber has Chuck Norris fever!
Total Recall was based off of an average day in the life of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't teach his kicks. They speak for themselves.
It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
Q: How did the blonde die at the baseball game? A: She drowned during the wave.
Chuck Norris can blow smoke rings, but also smoke squares. Actually he can also blow your face.
Chuck Norris can eat peanut butter with a straw.
Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure began when Chuck Norris arrived from the future and roundhouse kicked that phone booth into the past.
Chuck Norris won the World Horseshoe Pitching Contest while they were still attached to a Clydesdale.