Q: What do Captain Kirk and toilet paper have in common?
A: They both wipe out klingons.
Q: Why did the referee stop the leper hockey game?
A: There was a face-off in the corner.
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Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly swimming in my soup."
Waiter: "So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?"
Chuck Norris made the llama extinct.
Never spit in his face.
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Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked the turbines of Hoover Dam.
Since then, the Colorado River is a tourist attraction.
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What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
I hear you take milk baths.
That's right.
Why?
I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower.
"Did you hear about the farmer who lost control of his tractor in the cow pasture?"
"No."
"Did he hurt the cows?"
"No, he just grazed them."
What happens when the cows refuse to be milked?
Udder chaos.
Chuck Norris CAN have it both ways.
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