Chuch Norris stood next to a bear and was told he had to leave because the bear was scared.
For Chuch Norris, ANYTHING counts in horseshoes and handgrenades.
Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up? A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.
Q: What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw? A: Outlaws are wanted.
Chuck Norris went around the world... by standing still.
2PAC once thought he was tougher than Chuck Norris... he was later murdered.
Chuck Norris can literally kill time.
What do you call a gigantic polar bear? Nothing, you just run away.
If a hungry shark is after you, what should you feed it? Jawbreakers.
A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." She was incredibly ticked now. The next day the same parrot again said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager replied, "That's not good," and promised he wouldn't say it again. When the lady walked past the store that day after work the parrot called to her, "Hey lady." She paused and said, "Yes?" The bird said, "You know."