A man with no legs is lying on the beach, when three attractive blondes approach him. The first blonde says to him "I bet you've never been hugged before." The legless man shakes his head. Then the second blonde says, "I bet you've never been kissed before." The legless man shakes his head again. Then the third blonde says, "I bet you've never been fucked before." The legless man says, "No." The third blonde replies, "Well you are now because the tide is coming in!"
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
Little Johnny was in his maths lesson one day when his teacher asked him a question to see if he was paying attention. "If I gave you 20," she began, "and you gave 5 to Mary, 5 to Sally and 5 to Susan, what would you have?" Johnny thought about this and then answered, "An orgy?"
Me: Can I call an officer a pussy? Cop: No. Me: Can I call a pussy 'officer?' Cop: I guess you could... Me: Goodnight, officer
In year 1272 Arabics invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine. In year 1873 the British somewhat reinvented the condom by taking it out of the goat first.
Yo' Mama is so poor, my jack-o-lantern gets better dental work then she does.
If Chuck Norris told you to jump off a bridge, would you? Of course you would.
Chuk Norris was only twice angry, and those times are known as WWI and WWII.
Chuck Norris designed and created two series of cars. These are now known as Autobots and Decepticons.
Chuck Norris has a Gmail ID.. it is firstname.lastname@example.org