Yo Momma has so many chins, it looks like she's wearing a fat necklace!
According to Apple what is the leading cause of iphone 6 overheating?
Downloading images of Candice Swanepoel.
Q: What do you call four Blondes in a Volkswagon?
A: Far-from-thinkin.
I remember my guidance counselor.
The guy studied for years for his job, and deepest thing he ever said to me was, "You have your whole life ahead of you."
Client to designer: "It doesn't really look purple. It looks more like a mixture of red and blue."
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Your momma is so ugly when she look in the mirror it shattered.
Mission Statement: A long awkward sentence that demonstrates management's inability to think clearly.
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Have you heard about the new "Mint flavored birth control pill" for women that they take immediately before sex?
They're called "Predickamints".
A husband exclaims to his wife one day, "Your butt is getting really big. It's bigger than the BBQ grill!"
Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off.
"What's wrong?" he asks.
She answers, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?"
What does Pontiac stand for?
Poor Old Nigger Thinks It's A Cadillac!
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