Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes. After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tire. Much to their relief she smiled and said, "Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper." Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down. Then she said, "First Question was which tire was flat?"
Yo mamma so fat when she looked at the scale she yelled, "Thats not my weight, thats my phone number!"
Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it." The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next."
Q: What's the similarity between a woman and dog poop? A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
Roses are red tulips are black. You'd look great with a knife in your back.
How to tell who is Jewish in your class, drop a penny and see who gets their first.
Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.
What is the difference between mayonnaise and semen? Mayonnaise doesn't shoot down your throat at 40 miles per hour.
Mum,can i dress a bra? No. Why not.I am 14 years old! How many times I will say you "no", Michael...