Q: What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician? A: He didn't count with this...
Q: Which is better, being born black or gay? A: Black, because you don't have to tell your parents.
Little Johnny: Dad, Is it true? I heard that in some countries where arranged marriage is a custom, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries! Father: Son, that happens everywhere, after marriage you find out everything!”
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?" "Sure. That's easy," said one man. "What is it?" "H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O." "What, what?" reasked the instructor. "H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
Patient: "Doctor, I can’t sleep." Doctor: "Lie at of edge of your bed and you will sleep off."
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she thinks her binoculars are opera glasses.
What do you get if you cross a cow, a french fry, and a sofa? A cowch potato.
Steve Austin had to be rebuilt as the Six Million Dollar Man after he looked Chuck Norris in the eye, shook his hand and then went weak at the knees.
Bro, send me some good jokes. Sorry, now I'm busy with my Girlfriend. Good One! Send me more.
What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head? A tiger moth.