Q: What do actuaries do to liven up their office party?
A: Invite an accountant.
Vote:
Q: Why does Santa have an accountant in the USA?
A: So he can avoid Gift Taxes.
Q: What do you say to a bodybuilding cow farmer?
A: Show us your calves!
Q: How do you be pro in clash royale?
A: Use rocket and rage spell ladies.
Yo momma so poor I farted in her house and she bowed her head, stomped her feet and praised the lord saying " we got heat".
Poor Mac was having a bad time finding work. He was very overweight and it seemed to turn employers away. rnrnFinally, he found a job driving the tour bus on the Sesame Street studio. He was instructed to ask the names of the boarding passengers so he could personally address them as he gave the spoken tour while driving.rnrnIt was his first day. He sat patiently at the stop waiting for his passengers when he watched a huge fat lady waddle up to the bus. He asked her name as she boarded, and she responded Patty. Welcome aboard, Patty. Have a seat and we will be off soon. rnrnHe was startled when and equally large fellow approached. Again, he asked the name and the response was Patty O'Brien with a thick Irish brogue. Welcome aboard, Patty. Have a seat and we will be off soon. rnrnJust after the two Pattys had selected their seats, a shy looking small boy came up and asked if he could go. Sure son, come on in. What's your name? The boy responded Ross. It sounded like Ross might have some special problem but he seemed OK. rnrnThere were not many others around, so Mac was thinking he might not have anyone else join in. He was about to drive off when a creepy fellow came running up and asked to go along. Sure, come on in. We are about to go. What's your name? Lester was the response. Have a seat Lester. We are just about to go.rnrnAs he drove off to begin the tour, he glanced in the mirror to look at the passengers. Lester had removed his shoe and was picking at something on his foot. The vision made Big Mac laugh so hard he had to stop for a minute. rnrnHe was thinking who would believe this? Here I am with two big Pattys, a special Ross, and a creep named Lester picking bunions on a Sesame Street Bus?
Q: What did the cannibal do once he dumped his lady friend?
A: He wiped his bottom.
Vote:
A Mexican, a Cuban, and a Chinese guy are riding in a truck.
Who's driving?
Immigration.
What's the difference between a police officer and a bullet?
When a bullet kills someone else, you know it's been fired.
Vote:
"Is it rape if it's your wife?"
"I don't think so."
"What a relief! I thought you'd be mad as hell!"