Chuck Norris once hit 3 touchdowns during a friendly game of full-contact bowling.
Chuck Norris grew a beard at the age of eighteen. Twice.
A reporter heard Bush and one of his underlings talking in the hallway: "Mr President, how do we know for sure Iraq has weapons of mass destruction?" Pres says "You think we’re stupid boy?" "We made copies of all the receipts!"
Yo momma's so old her first job was as Cain and Abel' babysitter.
What's gross? Farting in the bathtub. What's grosser than that? Catching the bubbles with your teeth.
Yo momma so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!
Chuck Norris knows who let the dogs out.
A man was robbing a house in the middle of the night. All of a sudden, he heard a parrot cry out. "Jesus is gonna get you." The robber ignored it, and takes the TV. Again, the parrot cries out. "Jesus is gonna get you." The robber started to get a little worried. "What's your name, birdie?" "Moses." "What dumbass named you Moses?" "The same dumbass who called his rottweiler Jesus."
What's a rabbits favorite musical? Hare.
Why do cows think cooks are mean? They whip cream!