There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant's tail, really hard. Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when the same turtle that bit him on the tail all those years ago wanders up to the river. The elephant rears back a leg and kicks the turtle as hard as he can, sending him flying way off into the jungle. "Why did you do that?" the giraffe asks. "When we both were babies, that turtle bit my tail for no reason," the elephant replied. "Wow! You must have a good memory!" exclaimed the giraffe. "Yep!" said the elephant. "I've got Turtle-Recall."
Don King once had straight hair, until that day he saw Chuck Norris' eyes staring him down.
A bumble bee was chasing a rabbit. Finally the bee turned around and flew away. Why? The rabbit had two b's already.
What's black and white, stinks and hangs from a line? A drip dry skunk.
What do you call it when Miley Cyrus falls down? Hoe-Down.
How is parsley like pubic hair? You push it aside to eat, and sometimes it gets stuck between your teeth after meals.
What's lil Wayne's favorite kind of pizza? Little Seizures. What? To soon?
Which rabbit was in Western movies? Hopalong Cassidy.
What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast? How slime flies.
Mother to little boy: ‘Stop pulling the cat’s tail.’ Boy: ‘I’m not. I’m just holding it. It’s the cat that’s doing the pulling.’