What do rabbits put in their computers? Hoppy disks.
Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A: Gifted!
Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.
A blonde woman is walking down the street, with her blouse open. A cop is approaching from about a block away, thinking, "Boy, my eyes must be going, it looks like that woman's right boob is hanging out." As he gets closer it becomes apparent that it "IS" hanging out. When he gets face to face with her he says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?" She says, "Why, officer?" "Well, your boob is hanging out." She looks down and says "OMIGOD, I left the baby on the bus!"
What's a moo hoo for the sound you hear when a cow spits? A cud thud.
The ladies say I'm like Usain Bolt in the bedroom... I usually wear a yellow and green vest.
What do you call a dumb bunny? A hare brain.
Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year. In related news, the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.
An old man goes into the Social Security Office and fills out an application. Too old to have a birth certificate, he is asked to prove he is old enough. He opens his shirt and shows them the gray hair on his chest and they accept that as proof. He goes home to his wife, shows her the check, and explains to her what has happened. She replies, “Well get back down there, pull down your pants, and see if you can get disability!”
When Chuck Norris pours a bowl of Rice Krispies, they shut the hell up!