Q:Why don't hockey players drink tea?
A:Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
All employees are encouraged to stay with relatives and friends while on business travel.
If weather permits, public areas such as parks should be used as temporary lodging sites.
Bus terminals, train stations, and office lobbies may provide shelter in periods of inclement weather.
Man: When I bend my arm like this it hurts?
Doctor: Well, stop doing it!
Cessna pilot: "Tower, Cessna 12345, student pilot, I am out of fuel.
Tower: "Roger Cessna 12345, reduce airspeed to best glide!
Do you have the airfield in sight?"
Cessna: "Uh...tower, I am on the south ramp; I just want to know where the fuel truck is."
Patient: "Doctor, I can’t sleep."
Doctor: "Lie at of edge of your bed and you will sleep off."
How does a man save a woman from being attacked on the street at night?
He controls himself.
Yo' Mama is so dirty, roaches check into her laundry basket, but they don't check out.
Yo' Mama is so nasty, when she walks the dog, they both use the same bush.
Yo' Mama is so nasty, she put a cucumber in her panties and pulled out a pickle.
A third old woman, full of happiness, asks her granddaughter; "My sweety, remind me please.. What’s the name of that German guy that blew my mind off...?"
"Alzheimer, granny!"
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