Best jokes ever

When Chuck Norris opens a bottle of coke happiness runs away screaming.
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What is a dolphin's favorite TV show? Whale of fortune.
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What do you get when you cross a frog and a rabbit? A rabbit that says, "Ribbit."
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Chuck Norris' beard has a tattoo.
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Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
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What do you call a bull that runs into a threshing machine? Hamburger.
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At 3 AM a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens. "It opens at noon" answers the clerk. About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even drunker. "What time does the bar open?" he asks. "Same time as before... Noon." replies the clerk. Another hour passes and he calls again, plastered "Whatjoo shay the bar opins at?" The clerk then answers, "It opens at noon, but if you can't wait, I can have room service send something up to you." "No... I don't wanna git in... Ah wanna git OUT!!!"
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Chuck Norris goes to Silent Hill for the weekends.
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What do you call a bull that's sent overseas by boat? Shipped beef.
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An old man was on his death bed. He wanted badly to take all his money with him. He called his priest, his doctor and his lawyer to his bedside. "Here’s $30,000 cash to be held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die so I can take all my money with me." At the funeral, each man put an envelope in the coffin. Riding away in a limousine, the priest suddenly broke into tears and confessed that he had only put $20,000 into the envelope because he needed $10,000 for a new baptistery. "Well, since we’re confiding in each other," said the doctor, "I only put $10,000 in the envelope because we needed a new machine at the hospital which cost $20,000." The lawyer was aghast. "I’m ashamed of both of you," he exclaimed. "I want it known that when I put my envelope in that coffin, it held my personal check for the full $30,000."
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More jokes about: lawyer, death, money, priest, doctor