What lives in the ocean, is grouchy and hates neighbours?
A hermit crab.
Q. Why did Mrs. Smokey the Bear divorce Smokey the Bear?
A. Because every time she got hot, he d beat her with a shovel!
Turtle to turtle: "Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"
Exasperated dragon on the field of battle: "Mother said there would be knights like this."
Did you hear about the horse that has made a dozen films?
He's not a star though, he just does bit parts!
How did the instructor try to make horse riding enjoyable?
He tried to stirrup some interest!
How do you go about hiring a horse?
Try two pairs of stilts!
Why did the blonde burn her ear?
The phone rang while she was ironing!
Be careful never to let a blonde have a coffee break...
It takes too long to retrain her afterwards!
Q: What was the dentist doing in Panama?
A: Looking for the Root Canal!