Best jokes ever

What do you call a group of blondes on roller skates? A mobile sperm bank!
Vote:
has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: blonde
I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
Vote:
has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: business, flirt, food, money, sex
Man walks into a bar and sits next to another customer. Bartender comes over and says to the new customer, "what can I get you?" Customer says "bourbon and coke." Bartender looks at first customer and says another "beer Jackass?" He says nods his head yes. 10 minutes later bartender comes back to check to see if customer wants another bourbon and coke and customer says "sure." Bartender looks at first customer and says "another beer Jackass?" And customer nods yes. Bourbon and coke customer says to beer customer, "Man you are the customer, don't le t that bartender talk to you like that." Beer customer says "it's ok he al, he al, He always calls me that!"
Vote:
has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, communication, customer service, vulgar
Yo mama's like a library, she's open to the public.
Vote:
has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: dirty, insulting, sex, Yo mama
One day a guy and a girl were making out in her parents' bedroom, and it was getting pretty steamy. All of a sudden, the guy takes out his shlong and places it in her hand. She screams and runs downstairs, through the kitchen, through the living room, the bathroom, the dining room, back upstairs, through her bedroom, her bathroom, her sister's bedroom, down the hall and back into her parents' bedroom. "Listen, pal! I have two words for you -- DROP DEAD!" "I have two words for you -- LET GO!"
Vote:
has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, sex
Chuck Norris is so hot he makes the sun sweat.
Vote:
has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris doesn't expect the unexpected. He knows the unexpected.
Vote:
has 56.61 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
On Sunday little Johnny with his dad went for bathing. The ground was slippery. So poor boy for avoiding of knocking down grabbed his father's penis. His father smiled and told him: "Oh boy you are lucky. If you were with your mother you were concussion!"
Vote:
has 56.59 % from 117 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, health, little Johnny, women
Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: 'Are you the owner?' The pharmacist answers yes. Says Jacob: 'We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?' Pharmacist: 'Of course we do.' Jacob: 'How about medicine for circulation?' Pharmacist: 'All kinds.' Jacob: 'Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis? ' Pharmacist: 'Definitely.' Jacob: 'How about Viagra?' Pharmacist: 'Of course.' Jacob: 'Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?' Pharmacist: 'Yes, a large variety. The works.' Jacob: 'What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?' Pharmacist: 'Absolutely.' Jacob: 'You sell wheelchairs and walkers?' Pharmacist: 'All speeds and sizes.' Jacob says to the pharmacist: 'We'd like to register here for our wedding gifts, please.'
Vote:
has 56.59 % from 117 votes. More jokes about: age, marriage, medical, wedding
Black preacher is driving home from church and sees the white preacher walking down the road. He reluctantly pulls over to offer him a ride. A short distance along the way the whit guy says " you people don't actually think Jesus was black do you?" "And what makes think he's not?" The black pastor snaps back. The conversation becomes so heated less than needed attention was paid to the road and both men died in a trgic head on collision. When st. Peter opened the pearly gates to heaven before them, there stood Jesus Christ himself. He spread his arms slowly in a welcoming gesture and said "Buenos dias amigos!"
Vote:
has 56.58 % from 209 votes. More jokes about: black people, church, death, god, heaven
<<<709710711712
More jokes →
Page 709 of 1429.