Dad shouts ..."STOP WATCHIN P*RN....I CAN HEAR IT IN MY ROOM!" Son: Dad...I am NOT watching p*rn... That is Maria Sharapova playing Tennis!
Chuck actually died four years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
Why are rabbits like calculators? They both multiply a lot.
What happens to black people after they die? Nigger Mortis.
There were two church-going women gossiping in front of the store when a dusty old cowboy rode up. He tied up in front of the saloon, walked around behind his horse, lifted its tail and kissed the horse full on its rectum. Repulsed, one of the women asked, "That's disgusting, why did you do THAT?" To which the cowboy replied, "I've got chapped lips." Confused, the women continued, "Does that make them feel better?" "No, but it stops me from licking them!"
Q: Why didn't Republicans save any of the black New Orleans residents from the flooding of Hurricane Katrina? A: They were busy trying to get two of each animal for their ark first and couldn't catch that damned roadrunner.
Chuck Norris sky dives without a parachute.
Yo Momma so poor I stepped in her house and I was in the backyard.
J: What did Miley Cyrus eat for Thanksgiving day? A: TWERKY!
Yo moma so fat she jumped off the Grand Canon and got stuck.