Three cheapskates try to figure out a way of killing themselves with one bullet – so they put their heads together.
Q: Where do cowboys cook their meals? A: On the range.
Q: Why don't black kids play in sand boxs? A: Because they are affraid the cats will try to cover them up.
The aged patient doddered into the doctor’s office with a serious complaint. "Doc, you’ve got to do something to lower my sex drive." "Come on now Mr Peters," the doctor said, "your sex drives all in your head." "Thats what I mean, you’ve got to lower it a little."
Mummy, mummy, why is daddy swaying in the backyard? Shut up, and give me more bullets.
Why do niggers stink? So blind people can hate them too.
Q: What's the difference between greeting the Queen of England and greeting Bill Clinton? A: You only have to get down on one knee to greet the queen.
A soccer coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said: "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play." The player agreed, and the coach looked into his eyes intently and asks: "Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. What is two plus two?" The player thought for a moment and then he answered: "I think... no... yes... I’m not sure... what about 4?" "Did you say 4?" the smiled coach exclaimed, excited that he got it right. At that, all the other players on the team began screaming: "Come on coach, give him another chance!"
Good News: A busload of lawyers ran off a cliff. The bus was destroyed and there were no survivors. Bad News: There were three empty seats.
I could have been your daddy, but the line was too long.