Do you like maths?
If so add a bed subtract your clothes divide your legs and we can multiply!
When Chuck Norris says 'Candyman' five times in a row, no one appears.
Candyman ain't stupid.
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Q: Whats the difference between a black guy and a pothole?
A: You swerve around the pothole.
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Little Johnny was at school one day when the teacher asked the kids if they could use the word definitely in a sentence.
Well the first little girl raised her hand and said, "Well the trees are definitely green."
The teacher said "No not really because the trees turn yellow red and brown in the fall."
The next little boy raised his hand and said, "The sky is definitely blue."
The teacher said, "No not really because the sky can be all different colors."
From the back of the room little Johnny raised his hand and asked, "Do farts have lumps?"
The teacher said, "No Johnny of course not, that’s silly."
Then Johnny said, "Well then I definitely shit my pants!"
Q: How many Asian girls does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, 'cause they couldn't reach it.
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Your beauty is why God invented eyeballs, but your booty is why God invented my balls!
Viagra is like Disneyland; a one hour wait for a 2-minute ride.
"Why cant you play cards in the jungle?"
"Because theres to many cheetahs."
What is the difference between a Mexican and a book?
A book has papers.
A grade school teacher in Kentucky asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, "My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep It was fascinating."
The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the word "fascinate, not fascinating".
Sally raised her hand. She said, "My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated."
The teacher said, "Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word "fascinate."
Little Johnny raised his hand.
The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before.
She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word "fascinate", so she called on him.
Johnny said, "My Aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her boobs are so big she can only fasten eight."
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