Wouldn’t it be great if men were made by Kodak! They would automatically shut off when they weren’t being used. You wouldn’t have to wait for them to recharge after each shot. They last longer and come with a warranty. You can try them out first for a two-week trial period and return them if not satisfied with no risks or hassle. They exist to capture the moment, not ruin it. They come in fashion colors. You can keep them in maximum zoom. They come with replaceable or adjustable parts. The parts that count are portable. They don’t mind over-exposure. They respond to the slightest touch. The one you want is available at a KMART near you.
A guy walks into a bar, orders six jägermeister shots. The bartender asks him if it's a special occation? The guy answers "yes indeed, my very first blowjob". The bartender gets excited and says "Congratulations, I'll give you the seventh shot on the house". The guy answers "Nah, if six jäger shots isn't enough to get rid of the taste, the seventh wont make much of a difference".
Q: What's the difference between Jesus Christ and a painting of Jesus Christ? A: It only takes one nail to hang a painting.
What does a nigger do after sex? 25 years to life.
Q: Why don't Canadians have group sex? A: Too many thank-you letters to write afterwards.
Q. What do you say to a virgin when she sneezes? A. Goes-in-tight!
What do Gary Glitter and Napalm have in common? Both can strip the clothes off a small Vietnamese child in under two seconds.
I'd have a comeback for that, but all my come's backed up in your throat.
How do you make a snooker table laugh. Put your hands in its pocket and tickle its balls.
Why did the semen cross the road? Because I wore the wrong sock today.